JADB

Much as I wish I’m the originator of this, the vast majority of the following was shamelessly stolen off the “Intarweb”, then changed from the American specific version to be more applicable to the rest of the world. Enjoy…

Please accept — with no obligation, implied or implicit — our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter and/or summer solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practises of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.

Please also accept a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helps make this planet of ours such a wondrous place (not thereby implying, of course, that this is the only planet with intelligent life in the universe or that any other planet is necessarily less wondrous than this one), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)

Yesterday, on my way home from work, I heard the following story on the news. Kabelo Thibedi, after two years of being shunted around by Home Affairs, finally had enough.

He snapped.

Now, before I even start out, in the interest of short-circuiting any potential misunderstanding, I do not condone his actions nor his methods.

For those not in the know, Home Affairs is probably the one department with the most influence in South Africa. You need an ID book? Go to Home affairs. You need a Passport? Home Affairs for you! A birth? Same place to register the event. A death? Ditto. Marriage? Well, you get the drift…

It is the one government department every South African will have to deal with at some stage of his or her life. And probably more than once as well. Sorry, no exceptions.

Okay, so what has that to do with anything? We know that they have way too much influence and power… Let’s put things in perspective. What has happened to Kabelo is a bit excessive, but only a bit.

I had to renew my ID book a while ago. It only took them five month to do that. Time in actual work? Less than an hour in all probability, since they merely print the details into a pre-formatted booklet. Okay, let’s give them the benefit of doubt and say a week to do an hours work. Hell, this is Africa, that’s not too inconceivable.

Time invested from my side? Three hours in a slow moving queue on a very hot day to apply for my new ID. Five month for them to make it. Finally, and fortunately, I moved to Cape Town, so they mailed the ID book to me. No, not registered post, mail! And people wonder why ID fraud is rampant in this country?

And I was well off…

The Girl applied for her passport at the same time. Nine months, moving town, an engagement and more trips to Home Affairs than I would willingly count later — to contend with some of the most abrupt, surly and just plain incompetent people in the world — she finally had her passport in her mitts.

Nine Damn Months Later!

Now how do you like that for customer service, folks?

It was so bad that she’s decided to leave her passport in her maiden name, since we do not need the aggravation of another trip to Home Affairs. Not yet. Not soon. Hell, if we had a choice (as if!) — never!

So, while I don’t condone his actions, I have to admit however — to be completely honest — that I do understand them. One hundred percent…